🧠 Imagine being this dumb

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Good morning - Arsen here. ☕

Welcome back to Bitcoin Therapy. You know that fresh smell of a new car? Well, reading us is better than that.

First, happy and relaxing Sunday to 6,876 patients reading today. 👋 

Looking for a job in a bitcoin-only company? 🟠 

I work at Relai, which is growing fast. We’re looking for 3 developers and a product manager to join us.

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Alright, here’s what I got for you this week:

  • Bitcoin 2024 Halving: The Aftermath

  • Someone paid $21 M for 1 satoshi 🤡

  • Founders of a popular Bitcoin wallet arrested 👮

Estimated read time: 3 minutes and 34 seconds

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Alright, let’s Bitcoin…

BITCOIN 2024 HALVING: THE AFTERMATH

It’s finally done.

No, I’m not talking about my dirty dishes (they’re still looking at me from across the kitchen).

I’m talking about the Bitcoin 2024 Halving. And a lot of sh*t went down during it.

Here’s what you missed:

1/ The first post-halving block earned a whopping 37.626 BTC reward

That’s $2.4M in transaction fees (new record). Usually, an average block contains 2,000 transactions.

But not post-halving blocks. Everyone and their dog wanted to get included in the first block after the halving (so they could say, ‘I was there’).

The result? Post-halving blocks were huge and earned miners A LOT of money.

From: @lopp

2/ Someone paid $700K to be included in the first post-halving block

There are levels to being rich:

  • There’s a ‘the kid in your school who has new white sneakers every month’ kinda rich

  • Then there’s a ‘your cool uncle with a convertible’ kinda rich

  • And finally, there’s a ‘this guy just paid $700K to include $0.97 in the first post-halving block’ kinda rich

3/ Bitcoin fees went ballistic

Because everyone wanted to be included in the first post-halving block, Bitcoin fees exploded:

  • Fees before the halving: ∼$15

  • Fees after the halving: ∼$230

The fees have come back to normal now.

If you need to send Bitcoin, I recommend you do it now (I did).

4/ Miners 5x’d their revenue

Usually, miners make less money if revenue is cut in half.

Well, this time, miners 5x’d their revenues and made a total of $78M in fees. 💸

Typically, miners make about 1 BTC from transaction fees (per block). After the halving, they made 5 BTC from transaction fees per block.

Bitcoin Halving 2024 was an excellent time to be a Bitcoin miner.

From: @lopp

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SOMEONE PAID $21 M FOR 1 SATOSHI 🤡

Do you ever feel stupid?

Well, you shouldn’t. Because this guy exists:

Don’t know what you’re looking at? Let me help.

You’re looking at someone paying 33.3 BTC ($21 million) for the first satoshi of the first block after Bitcoin's fourth halving.

Translation: someone paid 3,333,000,000 sats for 1 sat “rare” sat.

Makes no sense? I don’t blame you.

‘Rare sats’ are special satoshis deemed more valuable than normal satoshis.

This is made possible by the ‘Ord’ protocol, which assigns ‘rarity’ to Satoshis.

The issue? It’s all b*llshit.

On the Bitcoin protocol, all satoshis are created equal. Technically speaking, there is no ‘first’ or' last' satoshi.

Just like there is no ‘first dollar’ in a five-dollar bill.

Still confused? Let me help with 2 examples:

Example 1:

  1. Imagine it got hotter by 6° today

  2. Someone says that the first degree of that 6 is “magical”

  3. They assign the ownership of this degree to themselves

  4. They sell this degree for $1 million to someone else

Example 2:

It’s like paying $21 million for a dollar bill with a specific serial number that:

  1. Is only visible when you look at it through a particular lens

  2. Can be easily washed off

Even more confused? Well, you should be.

Because that’s how stupid “rare sats” are.

FOUNDERS OF A POPULAR BITCOIN WALLET ARRESTED 👮

Meet Samourai Wallet.

It’s a privacy-focused Bitcoin wallet.

The wallet's basic idea is that users can ‘coinjoin’ their Bitcoin, a process that makes their Bitcoin more private.

Think of it like this:

  1. You put in dirty bitcoin

  2. You get out clean bitcoin

This is a massive oversimplification, but that’s the basic premise.

Well, on Wednesday, Samourai wallet users were greeted with this when visiting the wallet’s website:

PSA: if your website ever looks like this…run

No, that’s not them rebranding.

The founders of Samourai Wallet were arrested, and the wallet was shut down.

Their crime?

  1. Operating an illegal money transmission business

  2. Laundering $100 million in criminal proceeds

These are big accusations. So big that Samourai founders are facing 25 years in jail. 💀

Spoiler alert: it’s mostly b*llshit.

Let’s take a look at their “crimes”:

Crime #1: illegal money transmission

Samourai Wallet was a 100% self-custodial wallet.

It’s logically impossible to be a ‘money transmission service’ when you don’t have control over users’ money.

Crime #2: Money laundering

This one is tricky.

Because when you build a tool for privacy, criminals WILL use it (whether you like it or not).

Just like criminals breathe air, eat food, use smartphones, and drive cars.

Does that mean we should ban all of them? No, obviously not.

Where Samourai f*cked up is when they actively encouraged criminals to use their service:

Ladies and gentlemen, this is NOT how you do marketing.

That being said, the war on privacy is in full force. And it will only get worse.

This is why I cannot recommend enough to use Wasabi Wallet to keep your Bitcoin private.

It’s never been more important to take a stance against draconian laws that have 1 objective: reduce YOUR freedom

QUICK NEWS⚡

  • Gold tanks over 15% against Bitcoin

  • Swiss Bitcoiners petition the national bank to buy and hold Bitcoin

  • Angola bans all Bitcoin mining. The reason? To protect national energy security

THIS WEEK IN A MEME 📅

FROM THE ARCHIVE 📁

This is the ‘Bitcoin Sign'Guy.’ He photobombed Janet Yellen in 2017.

This week, he auctioned the original sign for 16 Bitcoin ($1 million)

Wild.

PATIENT REVIEW 🧠

 

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See you next Sunday,

Arsen

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