GM.

Welcome to Bitcoin Therapy. The newsletter with stories juicier than a perfectly cooked steak (medium rare, of course).

First, happy and relaxing Sunday to 2,525 patients reading today. 👋 

Your boy might be buying a house soon. The price is VERY good, but interest rates suck. Should I do it? Or is real estate a sh*tcoin?

Here’s what I got for you this week:

• El Salvador launches ‘lava pool’ 🌋

• JP Morgan Chase wants you to be a fiat slave

• Ethereum futures ETF launches…and flops

Estimated read time: 2 minutes and 23 seconds

But first, a big thank you to Yzer for sponsoring this week’s email and keeping this newsletter free for the reader ❤️

EL SALVADOR LAUNCHES A BITCOIN MINING POOL

El Salvador is known for 2 things:

• Pupusas

• Being an absolute f*cking gigachad of a nation

The Latin American country is blazing a new trail by launching ‘Lavapool’ - the first Bitcoin mining pool launched in El Salvadoooor.

Don’t know about you, but all this lava talk brings me flashbacks of how much I sucked at the ‘floor is lava’ game as a kid.

Just me? Okay. Anyways, here are the details on ‘lava pools’:

• Issued by a company aptly called ‘Volcano Energy’ in collaboration with Luxor, a bitcoin mining company 🤝

• The goal is to decentralize global Bitcoin mining further

• To mine Bitcoin, the lava pool will use…well, lava. More specifically, it will use geothermal energy from volcanoes, which is renewable and environment-Karen-approved.

• 23% of mining revenues go to the government and the citizens of El Salvador

And while we’re talking about innovation, let’s take a look at what’s happening in the fiat land.

Okay, never mind.

Anyways. How big will the lava pool grow? That’s TBD.

But the fact that the tiny Central American nation is at the forefront of adopting Bitcoin is remarkable. This is what winning looks like.

I bet Satoshi didn’t have volcano mining in his bingo card.

BITCOIN EDUCATION - BUT ON STEROIDS 💪

As you might’ve noticed, education is very important to us here at Bitcoin Therapy. We always try to have a good mix of degenerate humor and knowledge.

This is why we’re excited to introduce our new sponsor. Meet Yzer - a free and fun Bitcoin education app.

Here’s why you HAVE TO try it out:

• You earn free sats for completing lessons (free sats = best sats)

• It’s bite-sized lessons on the go (cuz ain’t nobody got time to read a 4000-word blog post)

• Perfect for both beginners and advanced learners

I’ve used Yzer for a few months now and can 100% vouch for them. You can install Yzer on both Android and iOS.

Use referral code RY6FL09 to get 50 sats in your Yzer app!

You support us by installing the app ❤️

JP MORGAN CHASE DOESN’T WANT YOU TO OWN BITCOIN

I love banks. They‘re always looking out for you. 😌

Example: JP Morgan Chase just sent this letter to its UK customers

TLDR: Chase Bank is blocking all crypto-related payments for safety reasons

So let me get this straight. Chase is perfectly fine with:

• Facilitating sex trafficking for Jeffrey Epstein

• Laundering fiat money

• Offering services to gambling services

• And other 264 violations

But they draw the line at Bitcoin??

“bUt iTs fOr yOuR sAfEtY!!1”

Yeah…no. Chase doesn’t want you to own Bitcoin. Chase doesn’t want you to be financially free. Chase wants you to be a fiat slave.

Oh well. Chase hates Bitcoin. I hate Chase.

We’re even.

ETHEREUM FUTURES ETF FLOP SPECTACULARLY

Ethereum futures ETF just launched on the stock market! In fact, 9 ETFs were launched at the same time.

And it had a whopping…0.2% of trading volume compared to BTC futures on day 1. Here are the details:

• ETH futures had $2M vs. $1B for BTC futures. Ouch.

• The ETFs were launched by some of the biggest investment firms, such as VanEck, Bitwise, and ProShares…and it still failed

• Here’s how Eric Balchunas, the Senior ETF Analyst at Bloomberg, described the launch: “Pretty meh”

This is the equivalent of throwing a birthday party and only your parents showing up (yes, I have traumas).

So yeah, it turns out there is no institutional demand for mETH

But to end on a positive note for ETH, congratz on the 0.2%!

That is 0.2% higher than it should be…

QUICK LINKS ⚡

• You can soon earn sats by watching ads - join the waitlist!

• Watch this YouTuber reverse scam a group of scammers who try to steal $400K worth of crypto from him

• Arthur Hayes: A new bull market is guaranteed to come

• $686M crypto stolen in hacks last quarter - up 59% year-over-year

THIS WEEK IN A MEME 📅

Fire your financial advisor.

FROM THE ARCHIVE 📁

Is it too late to RT?

PATIENT REVIEW 🧠

That’s it for this one. Big thanks to our sponsor Yzer who allows us to write Bitcoin Therapy.

If you like what you read, please reply to this to this email (it helps with email deliverability). And if you don’t, you can unsubscribe below.

See you next Sunday,

Bitcoin Therapy Team

PS: Want to sponsor Bitcoin Therapy? Just reply to this email and let me know :)

PSS: Enjoy the newsletter? Please forward it to a bitcoiner. It only takes 5 seconds. Writing it takes me 5 hours