🧠 Bitcoin is boring

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Good morning - Arsen here. ☕

Welcome back to Bitcoin Therapy. The newsletter that keeps you informed AND entertained.

First, happy and relaxing Sunday to 3,281 patients reading today. 👋 

This week is another one of those when I feel bullish af.

And you’ll be, too, after reading this…

Alright, here’s what I got for you this week:

  • Bitwise - the first Bitcoin ETF to reveal it all

  • BlackRock is pumping your bags 📈

  • Bitcoin is officially a boring asset class

Estimated read time: 3 minutes and 6 seconds

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We did it: we successfully cyberbullied a Bitcoin ETF provider to reveal their Bitcoin address.

What am I talking about?

Well, last week, Bitwise Bitcoin ETF (BITB) became the first to publish its holdings' Bitcoin addresses.

There it is.

That’s huge. Here’s why:

  1. This means anyone can now verify Bitwise's holdings directly on the Bitcoin blockchain

  2. Before this, all ETFs relied on trust: you trust your ETF provider actually to hold your funds

Think of a gold ETF: You have no idea in which vault your gold is kept, who manages it, or if it’s actually even there.

And no, you cannot install CCTV in the gold vault.

But now, you can always verify that your Bitcoin is with Bitwise.

Pretty cool, huh?

Anyways. The Bitwise announcement went viral on Twitter.

Here’s what happened right after:

  • Somebody sent 6969 sats to the Bitwise ETF. This makes the BITB the only OVER-collateralized ETF. Lmao.

  • Bitwise uses a legacy address starting with “1”. Guys pls, it’s not 2014 anymore….

  • Someone also sent them a Bitcoin NFT of Elizabeth Warren wearing her Native American headwear (at least that’s what I think is happening below) 😂

It’s official now: Bitwise is now considered the cool ETF

Now, a quick ‘ackchyually’: there is no way to verify that this address is actually the one holding BITB funds.

The only way to verify this would be for Bitwise to sign a cryptographic message with the private key to prove it.

Will Bitwise do this? I dont know. But I think it's our responsibility as bitcoiners to cyberbully them a bit more for them to do this.

But there’s one issue: now that the BITB address is public, anyone can now send “dirty” and non-OFAC-compliant Bitcoin to them.

But you wouldn’t do that, would you?

Also, you can now import Bitwise’s ETF address into your own wallet and receive notifications like this.

What? A man can’t dream?

And finally, next time you guys decide to send sats to a multi-billion dollar asset manager…don’t.


Scary number, I know. Let me ask you a few questions:

  1. Do you think your Bitcoin setup is secure enough?

  2. Do your loved ones know how to access your Bitcoin if something happens to you?

  3. Are you using Bitcoin without being surveilled by third parties?

If you struggle with these questions, you’re not alone. I’ve been there.

I’ve made lots of mistakes when I first discovered Bitcoin in 2017. I’ve sent BTC to the wrong addresses, overpaid in transaction fees, and sometimes didn’t back up my wallet (RIP sats).

This is because there was no one to guide me. But that’s not the case today. Meet The Bitcoin Way - your Bitcoin IT team

These Chads offer personalized, secure, and comprehensive solutions for every aspect of your Bitcoin journey (they’ve thought of everything):

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They’re rated 4.9/5.0 on Apollo. So yeah, they’re legit.

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If you’d told me in 2017 that BlackRock, the biggest asset manager in the world, would be shilling Bitcoin….I would’ve slapped you.

Fast forward to 2024, BlackRock is putting out charts showing Bitcoin as the decade's best-performing asset.

I’d slap you again, but this time because I’m just so bullish.

Anyways. Here’s what Bitcoin did in 2023:

  • Rose 154% 

  • Added $530 billion to its market capitalization.

  • Only Nvidia (a semiconductor manufacturer) outperformed Bitcoin with 240%

Also, I noticed an interesting pattern in BlackRock’s table:

*puts detective hat on*

  1. Year 1 - price goes up 📈

  2. Year 2 - price goes up 📈

  3. Year 3 - price goes up 📈

  4. Year 4 - price goes down 📉

Notice how the pattern follows a 4-year cycle? Good.

And what else in Bitcoin follows a 4-year cycle? Correct, the halving.

We are currently in phase 1 of 4, with the halving 2-3 months away.

Conclusion: we’re entering a 2-year bull cycle

Another bull market, except now we have BlackRock and the rest of Wall Street pumping our bags.

They have no idea what’s coming.


It's 2024. Bitcoin is officially boring.

Massive -50% candles of death are long gone. Hell, even -20% drawdowns are rare.

Here’s the data:

  1. Between 2011-2013 - 19 corrections of over 20%

  2. Between 2015 - 2017 - 17 corrections of over 20%

  3. Between 2020 – 2021 - 8 corrections of over 20%

  4. The biggest decline in this cycle was only -20.1%. What is this? A correction for ants?

You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to see the trend: bitcoin is getting less volatile with time.

It’s now considered a mature and attractive asset class. Bitcoin is officially a DILF asset.

Sigh. I guess I just have to accept that Bitcoin is turning into one of those boring and stable assets that multi-trillion-dollar asset managers like.

Oh well. Pump my bags then, if you must.


  • Where do the Chinese buy Bitcoin? In cafes and laundromats, of course.

  • The first Bitcoin-focused degree is here!

  • Someone inscribed a poem on the Bitcoin blockchain and sold it for $11,430 at a 280-year-old auction house.



Anyone want to pay me 250 BTC?

I can create memes


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